I am a 50 year old single mom of 3. When I was 22 years old I was a single mom with a 9 month old child who was in and out of hospital due to illness. I became pregnant, was very scared and even though I was with the father of this child at the time, I didn't think I could handle another child. So I chose to have an abortion.
I did not tell anyone about this, my partner at the time and everyone else thought I went in to have a cyst removed. I went 20 years hiding this secret. To this day I still feel the shame and guilt. I know God has forgiven me, just hard to forgive myself. I have to a certain level, but not fully. I know if I had someone, even one, who told me how this would affect the rest of my life I never would have had the abortion done. If you are struggling right now please reach out to someone!!
Editor's Note: Thank you for sharing your story. It will be helpful to others who may be facing a pregnancy decision or hiding a painful secret. Forgiving oneself can be difficult. Please feel free to connect with a peer counsellor on this site if you would like to talk further.